Never Have I Ever
by Shenlong Girl
Summary: Rose and her Torchwood team plan a night of drinking. Unfortunately for her, she's a very easy target for Never Have I Ever...


**Title:** Never Have I Ever**  
Rating:** PG-13  
**Characters:** Rose, Mickey, Jake, and original character  
**Spoilers:** Doomsday  
**Teaser:** Rose and her Torchwood team plan a night of drinking. Unfortunately for her, she's a very easy target for Never Have I Ever...

* * *

After a rough week of chasing down aliens, the Torchwood cell composed of Rose, Mickey, Jake, and Julia had been given a few days of much-needed leave. Julia was a brown-haired woman, the cute science nerd of the bunch. She'd meshed with the trio rapidly to form one of the most effective teams in Torchwood. As such, she was aware of the nature of Rose's origin and had some vague ideas about her travel with the Doctor. 

Given the opportunity to rest and recuperate, the team of course decided to have a night of drinking. They met in Julia's flat, arms full of beer and liquor and mixer, and spent an hour or two just watching TV, talking, and laughing together. Everyone managed at least a light buzz.

As the conversation wound down, Julia said, "Hey, we should play a game."

"A drinking game?" Jake asked. "Like a bunch of kids?"

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" Julia argued.

Rose piped up, "Yeah, why not? We can be a little juvenile tonight. We deserve it."

"Right, then, Never Have I Ever," Julia declared quickly. Jake tried to protest, but he was out-voted. They eventually agreed on a set of rules:

1. One must say, "Never have I ever ," and anyone who has done said thing has to drink. No lying.

2. If only one person drinks to a given thing, that person has to tell a story.

3. One could say something that he or she actually had done, but he or she would have to drink as well.

"Never have I ever been arrested," Julia started with a little smirk. Mickey, Jake, and Rose all drank.

"Yeah, thanks, Rose," Mickey said sarcastically.

"How is that your fault, Rose?" Julia asked with wide eyes.

"I thought we didn't have to tell the story if other people drank?" Rose complained, but Mickey waived his hand in the air, brushing her off.

"I was wanted for her murder! Can you believe that? She just swans off for a whole year, no note or nuffink, so of course they go for the boyfriend," Mickey groused, but his lips were upturned a little due to the shock and awe in Julia's face. He thought it was pretty adorable.

"I didn't know you'd dated!"

"Ancient history, babe," he said with a suave smile. Rose rolled her eyes in amusement.

Jake was next to speak, "Never have I ever eaten sushi." A few more normal, even boring ones passed between the group. Rose, shifted uncomfortably, aware she hadn't said anything yet.

"Never have I ever been shot at," she finally said. Everyone in the room drank.

"It's no fun if you say ones where you have to drink, too," Julia said with mock reproach.

"Sorry," Rose replied, "I'm having a hard time thinking of any. Though…oh! Never have I ever slept with a woman." Both men groaned good-naturedly and drank.

"Never have I ever been poisoned," Mickey tried. Rose took a swig of her beer.

"So this one time…well, actually, I've been drugged a few times. But one time, an inn keep thought he'd be clever and put a knock-out in both the Doctor's and my soup. Figured he could kidnap me – for what, I'm sure you can figure out – and the Doctor would come around too late to do anything about it. Unfortunately for him, Gallifreyan physiology metabolized the drug very quickly. I woke up on the TARDIS a few hours later. He wouldn't tell me what he did, but he had to throw out the tie he was wearing because it was singed." Julia was quite intrigued with the story, which made it more fun for Rose to tell.

"Never have I ever eaten a lizard," Julia offered. Rose drank and told an unexciting tale.

Mickey spoke up next, "Never have I ever had sex with an alien." Rose sighed and drank.

"…Had sex with two aliens?" Julia tried.

"Does it count if it was one alien in two different bodies?" Rose asked after a pause.

"Oh, I knew it!" Mickey crowed. "Go on and drink!"

"Never have I ever taken hallucinogens," Jake volunteered. Once again, Rose imbibed.

"I'm so telling your mum," Mickey said.

"I didn't mean to! Misread one line in a book about alien flora, and you end up chasing imaginary frogs around the TARDIS. In a bathing suit. With the Doctor running after you. For ten minutes, until he catches you and holds you down. Until he finds something shiny to amuse you for the remaining two hours of your high." There was a moment of shocked silence, jaws dropped and eyebrows quirked, before Julia finally burst out laughing. The two men joined her immediately, and then Rose saw it. That predatory gleam in their eyes. She was in for it now.

"Never have I ever hopped and NOT walked for more than thirty minutes at a time," Mickey declared, drawing on a story Rose had told him. She drank, of course.

Not even waiting for the explanation, he added, "Nor have I ever been turned to stone!" Rose replaced her empty beer and sat back on the floor, in front of the coffee table, before she and him related that particular tale together.

"Never have I ever been a dinner lady," Julia tried.

"Goddamnit," Rose stated before taking a large swig. Mickey just laughed.

"Never have I ever been the tin dog!" she shot back at him, smiling as his face fell.

"Never have I ever used the sonic screwdriver," Jake said with a grin.

"And I haven't met any giant, talking faces," Mickey tacked on. After taking the required drinks, Rose glared around.

"Never have I ever been knighted – OH WAIT," she said abrasively and threw back the rest of her beer. Then, she fetched another one and fixed them all with a proud look.

"Well?" Julia prodded. "I'm going to want that story!" So Rose regaled them with the tale of Queen Victoria and the werewolf, making sure to include the part where she got the Queen to say she was not amused. Her soused companions giggled over that for a bit, but then they renewed their onslaught.

Finally, after a long series of "never have I ever done it in a blank," including space ship, temple, hotel in space, prison cell, insect hive, and cake shop, Rose was pretty much done.

"I hate you guyz," she slurred petulantly, "pickin' on me!"

"It's not our fault you're a nympho and a xenophile," Mickey replied loftily, smirking. Rose leaned heavily on the table, holding herself upright. Barely.

"There's nothin' wrong wif bein' a xan-…a xeno…an alien sex partner," she managed to blurt out defiantly, just before breaking out in hiccups. Everyone cracked up.

"Just you wait til the fifty-first" – hic! – "century. Humans are sho shpread out, they" – hic! – "they do it with anything that moves! I bet Jack has something on his list that ain't even humanoid…" she trailed off. Then, her hands slipped, and she fell to the floor with a thunk. Luckily, since she was kneeling and barely upright in the first place, it wasn't far.

The next morning, Rose awoke with a groan, burrowing her head into her arm to hide from the light.

"Mornin', boss," she heard Julia say, amusement clear in her voice. It was all forgiven, however, when she came over with a coffee. A few sips of caffeinated goodness later, Rose looked around to see Mickey asleep on the loveseat and Jake passed out on the floor.

"They put you on the couch, and I found you a blanket. Seemed like the least we could do. I guess we overdid it last night, huh?" Julia asked. Rose looked puzzled.

"What happened? I remember we were playing Never Have I Ever, but…" she squinted, obviously trying to remember, but then she groaned and let her head drop back.

"Whatever I drank last night? Never let me do that again. My head's killing me."

Roused by the talk, Mickey stirred and began to stretch.

"Hey, Rose," he yawned, "All righ'? And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about how you like to play 'werewolf and victim.'"

"W..wot?" she squeaked.

"Yeah, I mean, we're mates, the four of us. So I'm just letting you know, your secrets are safe with us."

"What secrets?!"

"I mean, until we need blackmail someday. But I'm sure it's no good worrying about it."

"What?!"


End file.
